The One With Akeisha Lands Multicultural Family Advice

We are fortunate enough to work with the best parents and we want to help you by sharing their secrets. Each Monday, we will launch a new blog series, sharing our interview with our most admiral mommas. We accept questions from you, ask them personally and share their best, most anticipated tips + tricks. 

Akeisha Land is a wife of five years, a momma-social-media-influencer, and a proud Child of God. Above all else, Akeisha is a mom of two; Tristan + Greyson. Whether you follow her Instagram account or just have an Instagram page in general, I'm confident you've seen photos of her perfectly created kids: they're drop dead gorgeous! They have those bold, unique features that put you in awe. As the kids grow up, they will be able to thank their mixed parents for these qualities, but it's not always rainbows + butterflies. 

Although it's the 21st Century, some people still have not accepted the idea of multicultural families: Akeisha opens her heart up to us  in hopes to inspire + empower acceptance and change for all families:   

1. What ethnicity are you? What ethnicity is your husband?
I am Black and my hubby is White- we are both from America.
 
 
 
2. The hype on mixed babies is on the raise more + more everyday- and your kids are drop-dead-gorgeous: how many kids do you think you'll have?
Two. ...Two is a good number. I have two hands. Between my husband and I, there’s two of us + if we had any more, we’d be outnumbered! But hey, never say never! 😉
 
3. What is your definition of a family?
To me, family is that group the people in your life that mean the most to you. The group that of people that you love and care about unconditionally and would do anything and everything for. You don’t have to be related to them by blood to be family. Family is the people that help carry us through life. Whether by blood or by bond; they’re family.
 
4. Do your in-laws accept your relationship with your husband? What advice would you give to people having a hard time with in-laws who don't accept them for something as ignorant as ethnicity? 
This is a very tough one for me to answer as it’s definitely been a point of dissension in the past. From the day I met my husbands parents (in particular his mother) I never felt completely accepted by her. I always thought it had to do with the fact that I’m 6 years older than him and that’s her baby boy (he’s the youngest of three brothers). However, on the day after our wedding, I happened to be in the car with just her going to pick some things up from the reception venue and she said to me “I always thought the races were supposed to be separate... but my sister told me that wasn’t right”. To say I was shocked and hurt would be an understatement.
Needless to say, I immediately informed my husband of this and he kind of just made up an excuse for her. For the next year, this weighed on me, and in our marriage, because I felt he never stood up for me or said anything to her. It wasn’t until over 2 years later that we finally had a breakthrough and he confronted her (and his father for a different matter) that we were able to have a open dialogue and they both apologized. They were adamant that their intentions were never as they seemed and they loved and cared for me as their daughter-in-law. Things have since gotten much better between my mother-in-law & I, and I realize I don’t think she meant harm and she really is what so many others are unfortunately, which is just ignorant to racial differences.
I’m hyperaware now of the fact that some people truly are just ignorant (and not racist). I’m more compassionate towards them and know they just need someone to be willing to open that dialogue with them and have a candid conversation on race relations.
 
*MOM-LIFE HACK: For those having a hard time with in-laws or feeling as if they’re not accepted by them, Akeisha's advice would be to try to have a conversation with them before making any hardline assumptions. Their in-acceptance could really just be ignorance. People don't know what they don't know!
 
5. Do you get any discriminatory comments or messages ever?
 Oh yes, we get a myriad of ridiculous comments/messages. Most aren’t so overtly discriminatory as much as they make snide remarks about certain features or characteristics that generally are correlated with the African-American race. It’s like they’re making underhanded discriminatory digs. I handle it by ignoring it. 
 
6. Any ideas on how to stop or prevent the negativity?
I never respond to the messages. Ignoring them is usually what stops them. Kind of hard to pick a fight with someone who’s not responding. And I’m almost positive that’s what a lot of these trolls are attempting to do; is just picking a fight to try to get some attention. Well I ain’t taking their bait!
  
7. How do you handle negativity on your daughters page?
I just ignore it. I have done a post on our page shedding light on the negativity we receive so that I could bring awareness to the fact that cyber bullying is alive + well and clearly knows know age limits. But besides that, I never actually respond to those who send us any negative comments/messages.
  
8. Do you see your daughters Instagram success turning into her having a modeling career?
If it goes that way and it’s what she wants, then that’d be great! But, I certainly would never try to force her into a career prematurely if it’s not something she was enjoying doing. Whenever I’m taking photos of her for our shops we rep for, and she says she’s “done” and ready to go in, that’s what we do. So for now we’re just having fun with it all and seeing where the road takes her. Who knows what God has in store!
  
 
9. Best family habits?
We say grace before each meal and we say our prayers right before nap time + bedtime. 
 
10. What is your single best piece of advice for moms to teach their kids young, regarding self-esteem?
All kids were fearfully and wonderfully made; one of God’s own children made in His likeness. Because of this, they should always know their worth. Don’t let anybody else’s misplaced insecurities make them think any less of themselves. Not everybody has to, or will, like you, but that doesn’t define you or your worth. Don’t let anybody else make you change how you feel about yourself. Until the day they become you (which will never happen) don’t let them affect you. 
 
 

Remember that whatever someone else thinks of you really has nothing to do with you- it says more about them than it does about you! If you're going through something similar or can relate, please know you're not alone. For more of Akeisha's beautifully mixed life, follow her on Instagram at @greyson_land.

 

Please leave comments below + share your multicultural advice or thoughts! Let us know what you thought!


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